Friday, August 2, 2013

What a Week!

This week has been a fairly eventful one here at Chez Rosbif; Firstly Mrs. R. had all 4 wisdom teeth out on Monday and has been imitating a chipmunk with a full mouth ever since. Not only that but I had root canal surgery yesterday on the last molar left in my lower right jaw! Now my teeth are well and truly rooted*

Besides surviving a bushfire/car crash/terrorist attack, I reckon enduring root canal surgery is just about the most traumatic thing you can experience while still awake. After having enough anaesthetic to paralyse a pachyderm, the endodontist still managed to find the nerves that escaped numbing. The only way to find out if the anaesthetic hadn't reached the area he was working on was when I suddenly felt it, went rigid and gave a strangled cry. Below is a rendition of how I spent an hour and a half of my life which is now burned into my soul;

Me: MMMMMUurrrrrrraugh! (trans: F%&*ing hell!)
Endodontist: Did you feel that?
Me: murgh-huh (trans: Of course I bloody did! I'm not asking the time, you moron!)

Thankfully he only translated it as an affirmation to his question and applied some more anaesthetic to the affected area only to repeat the process.

If that isn't a vivid enough mental image for you, I've added a couple of clips to more vividly illustrate the process I endured. Enjoy!

*Root (verb and noun) : synonym for f*ck in nearly all its senses: "I feel rooted"; "this washing machine is rooted"; "(s)he's a good root". A very useful word in fairly polite company. (source:

Secondly, my good name and the blog have been mentioned in the pages of the august journal Miniature Wargames, courtesy of that erudite man of letters Conrad Kinch! A fellow gamer at the club alerted me to the fact and I have become something of a minor celebrity within our group. I managed to buy a copy of the online version and read the article, titled "Bring Three and Fourpence" about compromises in wargames for playability vs. historical accuracy, and found to my horror that he was gently dissing the figure scale I use according to our rules (1:60). As the article is clearly a personal, subjective look at the issue I can't be too upset, and he did mention me in the same sentence as the great Charles Grant! 

In a riposte to his view, I can safely say that I find the hexes of the Command & Colours rules a little on the silly side, akin to a giant chess board rather than a 'proper' wargame, so there! :-P

Anyway, all publicity is good publicity as they say! Thanks for including me in your article, Kinch old chap!

How I would have reacted to the article if I was a 19th C hussar

Thirdly, I actually managed a game last Friday night, this time against Austrians, rather than Russians. Robin and I held up the French side against Andrew S and Darren W using Andrew's troops. While I didn't win, I also didn't lose; one of those games where the clock ran down before a resolution became clear.

On the other side of the table Robin had his arse handed to him by Andrew, so I suppose if it had been a campaign game I would have had to withdraw to protect his retreating troops. As it was I was beginning to turn Darren's flank after routing three of his infantry battalions (although he'd routed 2 of mine as well), so one could also argue that I had a victory in that sense; you've got to find a silver lining somewhere!

The French. my forces closest to camera; Robin's furthest.

Robin's command

...and mine

Darren's Austrians

The French won the initiative, so I boldly move forward... does Robin
Stoic Austrians

Excitable French Chasseurs!

Serried ranks of Frenchmen

Andrew moves the bulk of his forces on the flanks, while Robin sets up to meet him.

Darren's view of my troops

My cavalry move around the flank, with infantry close behind.

My veterans hold the centre

The Austrian centre facing them

One of Darren's flank battalions forced into square by my light cavalry

My line extends from the woods closest to the camera...

...across to the BUA occupied by the JN regiment.

The reserves awaiting their moment

In the distance, Robin refuses the flank, while I hold the line and attempt to move around the near flank.

My hussars scare the Austrians in square, while my infantry comes around behind them. Darren has moved his Uhlans to threaten my centre which was a bold move, in my view. 

He launches a charge against my two Croat battalions...

...which I luckily won seeing as how he had the numbers on me. However my Croats are left stranded!

Another angle showing how far the Croats are from safety; sticking out like dogs' doo-dads!

My hussars form line and my infantry come around the woods to be joined by the battalions which had been moving through the woods.

The veterans in the centre start taking casualties from the enemy artillery.

Darren squares up another battalion. I was beginning to salivate at this point!

The veterans are in closed column because of the cavalry threat, but that makes them an easier artillery target.

The Austrians are in a similar position, but their big battalion size allows them to absorb more punishment.

The JN regt leaves the shelter of the BUA to confront the grenzer line with French support.

After taking more artillery damage, Darren charges my battered veterans, who counter-charge.

They are predictably routed and the Austrians carry on into the next two battalions
Breaking units and the other two forced to retire. Note, plenty of reserves for counter-attack, though

Darren tried to charge my guns, but I took the opportunity charge with my chasseurs. Despite the routing troops nearby, I managed to stop his charge in its' tracks. Phew!

Another charge on my redoutable Croats was met and seen off.

On the other flank, after advancing an infantry closed column to block the Uhlans, I charged 2 battalions at the square and smashed it!

Then I followed up with a cavalry charge at the disordered column behind it, smashing it into the bargain.

On the other flank, I flubbed a charge against the grenzer line, halting at 2" with disorders and receiving a volley for my troubles!

The victorious Austrians in the centre get what-for from my reserves

One down and one to go!
This is where the game ended, by no means over. Darren was still relatively strong in the centre, though he would have had to send some around to shore up the flank I was squeezing. Still, Robin was crumbling and I would have had to have broken off to conform with his movement, or end up with Andrew coming around my flank and rear. A lot of fun!


  1. You realise of course, that this means war.

  2. Beautiful table! Neat looking game. Sorry to hear your root canal procedure was painful, I had one a few years back that was ok in the outcome.

    Congrats on the minute of fame! (In the magazine)

  3. Commiserations on the family's combined dental adventures. The dentists in your area must be doing very well - are they in the market for secondhand wargames units?

    My only experience of root canal was earlier this year, when I had problems with a prominent (though dead) tooth. It wasn't pleasant, but wasn't as bad as I expected (possibly because the tooth was dead?). Good so far. Within a month I had a jaw like Desperate Dan, and my expensively root-canaled tooth had to come out in a hurry. I am too scared to go back and challenge them for a refund in case they have any more good ideas.

    Naturally, the Irish policeman will have consulted you before mentioning you in his scribings? No? No matter, no-one reads the bloody mag anyway - it's mostly tosh written by amateurs (with respect...). Rise above it. Enjoy your teeth. Bare them, in fact.

    Nice photos of the game - looks excellent. At risk of being difficult, I might mention that the silly hexes do offer the adventage of games which eventually end. Again, no matter.

    Health and riches

    Comte Maximilien S Foy
    Chateau Foy
    Scotland, near England.

    1. I'm sure we've given more than our fair share to the Children of Dentists' Private Education Benevolent Fund this week! It seems I share the same predicament to you (dying tooth), but hopefully my outcome will be happier than yours. I've already lost 4 molars to cracks and infections!

      As to that Irish copper, the less the the better, eh? He already gets too much attention! ;-)

  4. Congrats of the shout in MW mate and great looking game too

  5. Lol, and and great AAR to follow up! I hope you never have to go through that again!

    I did not know that version of the word "root" until I saw Flight of the Conchords where Jermaine got an Aussie GF. The things I learn from blogging, and TV!


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