Monday, March 19, 2012

Book review - Achtung Schweinehund!

This book is a rolled-gold, authentic, laugh-out-loud cack-fest that should be required reading for all historical wargamers. While I only took up this hobby 6 years ago, my childhood was so filled with toy soldiers and dreams of heroism and glory that the author's reminiscences struck a clear note of recognition in me. His descriptions of role-playing-games and their players had me laughing till I shed tears, and his descriptions of wargames conventions and the people who attend them was uncomfortably close to the truth! 

The author shows how a little boy's obsession with war, fostered by the previous generation's personal experience (in a peculiarly Anglo-Saxon way), gradually morphed into an obsession with historical wargaming and its associated paraphenalia. It's a path that a lot of us in the English speaking world, of a certain generation (ie, baby-boomers to early gen. X) can relate to; certainly I know I could. I grew up with tales of my grandparents' WWII service, collected Matchbox soldiers, read Commando comics, lusted after my friends' GI Joe figures and ran around with my mates shooting each other with imaginary guns or chucking dirt clods (or 'yonnies' as we called them) at each other pretending they were grenades. 

Incidentally, GI Joe finally revealed to me that Father Christmas did not exist, as at the age of 8, my family and I lived in the 3rd world where my father worked on an agricultural aid project. I was wavering in my belief of the existence of Santa before then, but gave him the benefit of the doubt. I thought if he really existed, then I would awake to find the aforementioned lusted after GI Joe action figure (NOT a doll!) would be in my stocking despite the non-availability of such a toy in the country we were living, during these pre-online shopping times. Needless to say, I didn't get my action figure, ergo Father Christmas was a sham!
From then on it was reading all the accounts of WWII action I could get my hands on and watching every movie on the subject that came along. I painted many a 1/72 WWII plane, my favourites being the massive Airfix Lancaster, although the Matchbox Stuka and Mosquito came a close second. After that came fantasy role-playing-games and my introduction to painting figures. We used Games Workshop and other figures to keep track of combat, and using my model aircraft painting skills, I can safely say mine were the prettiest figures (not boasting or anything!).

After that it was drinking and girls (but mainly drinking!), until settling down with Mrs. R and having a family spurred me on to picking up the hobby I'd always been fascinated by, but never had the courage to follow up. Initially there was the geek factor to overcome, but now that I'm a father, I'm so uncool (especially in my kids' eyes) that I am now immune to embarrasment. I came along to the NWA about 6 years ago and have been hooked ever since.

Besides geographical and generational differences, you can see that I had a similar obsessive start to my interest in all things war, although Asterix led me to an abiding interest in the ancient world, too. I would advise anyone involved in historical wargaming over the age of 40 to read this book and laugh and cringe in recognition at the stages of obsession that stay with you from childhood

Thanks to John R. who lent it to me (and to nearly everyone else in the club!).

10 comments:

  1. Great comment. Brought me memories on how I, a 50-year Spaniard, living in my childhood in a corner of Europe of a relatively underdeveloped and politically isolated country, met the world of plastic soldiers gaming. A totally different experience: no conventions, no Airfix magazines, no proud war memories of our seniors (who had to fight a shameful civil war and those defeated suffering until Franco died in 1975). But we had "Madelman" instead of "Action Man"; "Hazañas Bélicas", a WWII-based comic stripes with Sargento Gorila, a US Army heroe; and then some cheap plastic figures (a shameless copy of the oldest Airfix range) that were sold in paper bags in news stands at the costs of 5 pesetas, as well as soft plastic tanks and planes ("Montaplex"). I still keep hundreds of those stored in the washing machine soap buckets that my mother used at home. I think I'm going to write something in my blog.

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    1. Thanks for that, Anibal. It seems that little boys are hard-wired for soldier-worship, whatever culture they're from!

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  2. You must be watching Danger 5? Kill hitler! Love La Souer

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  3. Monsieur Rosbif - nice review - good shout, too - reminded me that it's time I re-read my copy of it. It's terrific fun to play spot-the-stereotype and populate the book with your mates, or people you've seen at geekfests. Except for oneself, naturally - I would never correspond with a stereotype myself, of course!

    Those of us on the fringes of the UK scene (somewhat beyond the fringe, in my case) can even try to identify a couple of the real-life characters masquerading under noms-de-plomb - I know of two, though only because I was tipped off.

    Great book - will dig it out today.

    MSF

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    1. How fascinating! I never stopped to think that the wargaming community in the UK was small enough for characters in the book to be recognisable to other members of the same community. On second thoughts, I shouldn't be surprised, because as Harry Pearson says it's a 'niche' hobby!

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  4. This sounds absolutely wonderful; yet another added to the wish list.

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  5. Great book. I did a piece on it on my blog some time ago. It gives great comfort to know that no matter how much you've spent, someone else out there has spent more on unpainted metal soldiers. A lot more.

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  6. I was delighted to read your appraisal of my mate Harry Pearson's book particularly as one of the characters in the book, TK, was based on my exploits, see the shoulder biting incident at Borodino game section, as well as a few others, if you care to see the offending biter look at my blog http://2ommnostalgicrevival.blogspot.co.uk/

    under the Blenhiem Birthday Bash posting

    really enjoy your blog, well done
    cheers john

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    1. And you're still friends after the shoulder biting episode?! I bet you can't say 'Cossacks' without him getting a funny look in the eye, though!

      It really is a small community, and getting smaller thanks to the www. Who'd have thought that a major character from a book (admittedly an autobiography) would have their own blog?

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  7. Yes still great pals, if i need to wind him up or disrupt his dice throwing the word "Cossacks" will send him into a corner mumbling and dribbling.
    cheers john

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